If a rival pack showed up, it’s the alpha wolf’s job to show up and lead the pack.
Many men like to look dominant and intimidating for their own ego and feeling of status, rather than actually having the strength and humility to serve others. And this doesn’t necessarily make him a real contributor or leader.
For example, if a man’s dominance comes purely from using the appearance of his physical size or strength (and not from true resourcefulness), then he’s going to feel threatened and triggered a lot.
A man who is triggered a lot or in it just to feel big and tough for himself isn’t going to serve anyone. Not only that, but he will also be superseded by a younger or more intelligent male very easily and quickly.
A man who is looking to just dominate a group for his own feeling of significance is going to lead a very weak tribe, because he only cares about himself.
And what value is physical size really in this day and age? Yes, tall and big is nice, it can warn off other men, at times.
But without intelligence it’s not worth much. An evolved alpha male is ultimately intelligent and resourceful for his people/tribe.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that men who rely purely on physical size to feel successful, strong and alpha aren’t very deep, or evolved, are they? They may have the strength, but lack the intelligence.
So, this isn’t me judging macho men. After all, I’m a woman, I’m small, and so I can appreciate big strong men and I think they are great. Yet, if that’s all he is, then he’s not that valuable to anybody long-term.
Sign number 8:He tries to open you by adding value, not through blind force
We as women have to keep our sexual resources and our emotions somewhat concealed. In other words, we need to be opened.
Most women aren’t just going to say ‘yes!’ to an offer of sex from a stranger on the street.
(In contrast, research has shown that many men do say yes to offers like that from strangers on the street).
So when we reveal ourselves, when we get turned on and let a man in sexually, it should be a gradual process. Most good, evolved men would respect that and be attuned to that, rather than trying to blindly force a woman into sex.
In fact, rape is usually but not always a tool used by low value, low status men. It’s not a tool that high value, evolved men use to get sex.
So rather than resenting women their whole lives, or resenting other men for getting women while he doesn’t, a high value masculine man would do something different.
A masculine alpha male will look to become more valuable overall as a man. He will therefore be able to have the skills to open women and make them trust him.
Examples of ways men will add value in trying to open you
- He uses humour/he makes you laugh
- He gives you his presence
- He cares about how you feel and wants you to feel comfortable
Some examples of low value methods men use to try to get sex:
- He calls you frigid just because you don’t want to have sex with him
- He puts you down, stealing from your self esteem so that you feel smaller. The smaller you feel, the more you are able to be controlled.
- He criticises you rather than connecting or trying to understand.
By the way, here’s an article I wrote on the 7 Burning Signs A Man is Being Low Value.
Sign number 9:He connects to the soul in others
To influence anybody deeply, an alpha male would have to really connect to the soul of other men around him. He would have to inspire. To do that, he has to reach deeply into someone and speak to who they are, beneath all the surface “small talk”.
Obviously, speaking to the souls of people is not something you want to do all the time, because it’s not always appropriate!
It’s more about his capacity. If a man has the best intent to positively impact others and lead others, he would need to have the ability to connect soul-to-soul.
When a man or woman cares to connect to the soul of the people they care about, it’s a sign that they are not just in it for themselves. When a man can care in this way, he has a whole lot more power in a tribe, and with his woman.
This power may not be physical strength or good looks, but it’s a spiritual power. Intangible yet meaningful.
A lot of us in this modern world feel like be have to craft a good image for ourselves.
When we spend our life doing this, we don’t have time for real connection. A man is not going to evolve and appreciate others beyond what they can do for him, if he cannot reach outside of himself into other’s souls.
You see, it’s not about always proving yourself to people. Instead, it’s about what’s real.
It’s not about the image. It’s about the quality of connections you have in your life.
It’s not about me, it’s about we.
It’s not about my fears, it’s about connecting to each other’s soul. And any evolved, masculine alpha male would be able to appreciate this.
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Sign number 10:He is not too stuck in one identity all the time (he is multidimensional).
This means that he doesn’t think he can be one person all of the time, and expect that one identity and personality to serve in every occasion.
For example, is the gentle nice guy personality always what will provide a hot sex life?
Well, no.
In fact, a primitive, dominant caveman might work very well for a hot sex life. It would serve that part of a woman who really wants to be opened in to total ecstasy by a dominant man.
A nice, gentleman is just not going to be able to provide that much juice in this scenario.
I really learned about multidimensionality from my husband, David (I adore him so much).
When we first got together many years ago, I thought that being nice was important for almost all scenarios. I learned that that’s just not the case.
Everything is contextual. Take for example a person who is being an idiot and treating a someone disrespectfully for no reason.
Should an evolved alpha male continue being nice and expect that person to be nice in return? Niet noodzakelijk. With some people it may work, but it usually doesn’t work with most.
And, being nice all the time would be silly, un-attuned and a slap in the face to himself.
We can simply not expect that being kind and “spiritual” will work to get through to everyone in every context, because that’s one-dimensional.
This doesn’t mean that he should get wildly angry and punch everybody in the face. It just means that he respects his own anger enough to use the anger wisely as a resource to get through a bad situation.
For example, let’s say that one day you somehow come across a criminal or prisoner.
You are a well educated, upper class individual, encountering an aggressive, repeat offender who is spending a large chunk of his life in prison.
Let’s say that hypothetically, you have to get through to this prisoner and get him to see something from a new perspective.
How can you deal with this new situation, or connect with a prisoner who has perhaps grown up in terrible conditions? Who has, perhaps also been abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him?
Like many people in prison, they’ve been raised in troublesome circumstances and gone on to be a thief or a bully their whole life.
How can you add value to, or deal with this person who is entirely different to you?
The answer is you can’t do it by doing what you think should be right in you head.
You have to be multi-dimensional. You have to be able to access the darker sides of you in order to effectively deal with this person.
It’s completely deluded to think that one gentle, kind and spiritual part of us can effectively solve every problem in the same way.
‘Kill them with kindness’ does not always work
“Kill them with kindness” just doesn’t work in real life. It may work in la-la land, but not on planet earth.
Ok, maybe kill them with kindness is valuable in certain contexts, but it’s not effective for every context.
All of us have to have the multidimensionality to meet people where they are at first. That is if what we really want is to be resourceful, and to deal with all the problems that we have in life in a resourceful way.
An alpha male, a man who is evolved and masculine, has extremely good social skills (social skills are a sign of intelligence, too).
And he is accomplished at being resourceful in some difficult social circumstances, making the women around him feel safe, protected and free to be women!
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how skilled and well developed a man is in one particular character or personality within himself. It’s not valuable to be the bad boy all the time any more than it is valuable to be the nice guy all the time.
By the way, if you want to learn how to get a man to beg you to be his one and only woman, I’ve just published my program “Becoming His One &Only:5 Secrets to have him fall madly in love with you and BEG you to be his one and only.” Go and get your copy here.
Final words…
That concludes the 10 telltale signs you’ve picked a highly evolved, deeply masculine alpha male.
As I mentioned earlier, if a man has 3 of these signs, then he’s doing pretty well. A man does not need to have all 10 of these signs to be a highly evolved, deeply masculine alpha male.
Which of these signs did your ex have or lack? Which of these traits do you wish to see more of in men?
Let me know if you can add to this list of signs. I’m sure you’ve encountered some signs that a man is evolved that I have missed!
